I have lost her.

 I have lost her. I have lost the girl, who looks a lot like me. Who smiles like me, who cries like me. We have the same name and same eyes, but we see different things. I used to live in the world she resides in. I have lost her. Now we live in two distinct worlds, but she is nowhere to be seen. We share (shared) the same house. The same room, the same walls. Now, I look for her behind the curtains where she used to hide. On the couch, where she used to watch cartoons, early in the morning. I try to catch her, while she is running around in the whole house. I don't see her anymore. I don't find herself in me anymore. We share the same family. Her friends used to be my friends once. People say we look the same. The colour of our eyes match in shade. We are different. She knows how to love and to be loved. She has a contagious smile. She has an extremely soft and loving gait. Her footsteps, are like the dewdrops on each shank of grass. You'd want her to smile at you. She'd look at you and her face would contort into some hilarious lines. She wouldn't mind what time it is. She'd sleep, soundly after school. No, she is not perfect. I can feel one thing which she can't. She can't feel nostalgia, but I can. Nothing would make her go weak in knees. She wouldn't care about her classmates. Wouldn't care about losing friends either. She would use millions of expressions to orchestrate what she feels. She would sometimes blab, but wouldn't regret at all.  She speaks with a fumbling tone, but there are no traces of dubiety, but because she is a little girl. Bummer! You weren't expecting that, were you? You were, oh no. Then I am not at all like her. She wouldn't be so dull. She gets angry, just like me. But I don't smile like her. She is a lot like me but I am not like her. You just need to feed her cakes and tarts and she would be all yours. She wouldn't ask you numerous questions. However, she wouldn't mind knowing you but she would never ask. She would never shy away from talking to you. She wouldn't shy away from saying a hello. For, she knows that she wouldn't risk a goodbye by that. She likes words, but my words are strung better. However, she makes more sense. Ah, but she doesn't know how to flirt with words and metaphors. Text messages are not her thing. She wouldn't think about WhatsApp messages and voice notes and calls and what not. She would sit back and enjoy mickey mouse and clap and dance and sing with them. Her tears were for her bruises. She has never had scars. There is this girl I know, who would get on your nerves like I do. But you would never mind her doing that. Did I mention that she doesn't get frustrated? She craves for happiness. She would always tell you what's on her mind and wouldn't fear any judgements. She is like me but she is sweeter. Beautiful and better. And sometimes I miss her. Just so you know, I used to be her. I used to be her. But I think she just got so good at playing hide and seek, that now, she is nowhere to be seen. All this while, I have been talking about her. Me? Just the opposite, you see. 

-Aditi